I will start by saying that I try this every single year. I am a wanna be green- fingered goddess. House interiors I can do, cooking, baking, you name it, however, I don’t think I was blessed with the goddess gardening gene. Last year I decided it was vegetables, so armed with my dummies guide to growing your own, I even went as far as purchasing one of those small glass (well plastic but you get the picture) boxes for growing seeds in.
I was doing great and had tomatoes planted and had it housed in the garden. Let it be said tomatoes were very adventurous for a beginner non green fingered goddess. I just kept forgetting to water them and my husband tutted for the whole summer as he mowed the lawn around ‘the box’. I am very sure it was being sabotaged by little fingers also the minute my back was turned. The result which didn’t surprise me at all was a few very dodgy looking stalks and not a tomato in sight!!
At the same time, I decided to go to the other end of the difficulty spectrum and grow rocket lettuce in pots, all the while imagining myself sporting a floral apron with an especially commissioned lettuce basket collecting it from the garden to serve to my smiling family. I mean even my sister can grow Rocket. Falling over the stuff she was last year according to herself and she lives in a ground floor apartment!! I still don’t know what happened to it. It just didn’t show up to the party and this is my first time actually admitting that I tried to grow it in the first place!!!
This year, I decide herbs are the way to go. So not to be deterred, off I went to the lovely Garden Centre near my home again last week with my parents and my 2 small boys. I’d say the same small boys cause the poor garden centre staff to batten down the hatches and await the fallout. Anyway having pulled youngest little man out of a chicken coup by the ankles and yes they can fit on the hatching shelf, we managed to purchase a lovely array of fresh herbs. We bought the biggest ones to give me the best chance of success and off we went.
The next day, not forgetting last year’s fiasco with the ‘glass box’, my husband had a brain wave and I came back to find all my (as yet unplanted) herbs in a unused electricity meter box. I kid you not. He thought it was a great idea. ‘What are they doing in there’ I whispered, knowing full well. ‘It’s perfect for you’ he said ‘and they won’t dry out’. ‘There’s hardly much chance of that in this weather’ I replied ‘and they’ll get waterlogged as there is no holes in the bottom’. I got that look only reserved for men who think they are more knowledgeable on a subject than their wives, ‘I’m going to drill holes in it for you’. He just didn’t get the point. Not being the most dedicated of gardeners, who could grow plants out of a car exhaust, I am more in love with the notion and like things to look pretty!!! Try explaining that to an engineer and an electricity meter box is the least of your worries!!
Then the rain started and it hasn’t stopped since so there they sit, taunting me outside the door of my sunroom in their lovely electricity meter box, waving in the unseasonal June wind. If they could talk, I’m sure they’d be saying ‘will this be the year we get planted, will this be the year we will be successful and make it into at least one curry. If not, could you at least give us a decent gaff!!!
Lets hope the rest of you have more successful stories to tell. Let us know.
Until next time